#2023

 Assalamualaikum.

Setelah beberapa tahun berlalu. Baru berpeluang nak jenguk balik blog ni. Kemain dah bersawang ye.

So here a little life update.

Now I'm a mother of two cheeky and genius boys. My first born dah mula masuk tadika and my second born baru je masuk dua tahun. Tengah melasak sangat.

And am currently doing my Post Graduate Diploma in Teaching (PGDT). Anak sibuk nak sekolah, ummi pon sibuk jugak nak sekolah. Hahahaha. Takpelah. Sambung balik cita-cita yang tak kesampaian zaman sekolah dulu kan. Mana taw nanti dapat jugak jadi Cikgu Amanina kannn :)

So sekarang ni dah masuk semester ke-3 and dah mulakan praktikal di sekolah. Dah nak masuk 2 bulan ummi jadi guru praktikal. And masih struggle untuk menjadi seorang guru ye. Fuhhhh kus semangat mengajar budak zaman sekarang ni. Zaman kita jadi pelajar dulu rasanya nakal dah tapi budak sekarang lagi advance ye. 

Moga ummi dikurniakan kesabaran yang tinggi untuk habiskan praktikal ni. Dan moga ummi dipermudahkan semua urusan dalam menghabiskan baki pengajian. Sikit dah lagi ni. InshaAllah berjaya dengan cemerlang. Amin yra.

Moga pengorbanan semua orang pon terbalas dan tidak menjadi sia-sia.

#SURATUNTUKAYAH

This one should be published since 2017.


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Masa berlalu pantas.

Dua tahun...hampir berlalu.

Tapi...dalam hati masih berharap kalau aku dikejutkan dari mimpi realiti ini.

#suratuntukayah....sebab aku rindu.

Rindu segalanya. Kadang tak tertahan dihati.

Ayah...Na rindu. Na tahu kalau ayah takkan dapat baca pon semua nih, takkan dapat tengok pon coretan nih. Tapi...I still want to mencoret. Even rasa rindu nih takkan terluah dengan perkataan.

Ayah...kami semua ok. Abang Din sedang menjadi ok. I know you know how he's struggling with things, Us too.

Dan Na...still struggling. And counting.

Ya Allah...cepatnya masa. Na dah lulus my master's degree, dah siap konvo pon last December. For the first time, ayah takde untuk Na share one of my beautiful moments. Na pura-pura kuat. Cakap kat mak I'm okay to be there alone. Mak takleh datang adik tengah SPM. Dan adik-adik lain pon tengah nak exam. Konon. Pernah dah family semua datang masa konvo degree so master sengsorang pon takpe. Padahal dalam dewan terkebil-kebil jugak tahan tangis. How I miss you ayah. Allah jep yang tahu. Syukur ada teman-teman kesayangan yang sudi datang raikan.

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Now, we are okay. Gonna be okay. And we still miss you ayah. Sometimes mom laugh while thinking of you, talking about you. We did. Memory will never fade. You will always with us.

Forever.

SAPU SAWANG

Krik krik krik.....

Punyalah lama tak jenguk blog nih sampai sawang setebal hutan!

Last posting 2016 kot...nih dah 2019.

Konon bukak En Lappy nak tengok content exam serba sedikit sementara budak Anaqi nih tido. Sekali terjengah blog pulak. Dah laa kemain struggle nak ingat balik password. Allah! Banyak sangat kot urat putus masa bersalin ritu. Hahaha.

Btw, 3 tahun hilang dari dunia blog. Aku dah selamat nikah dan ada sorang anak dah.

Kemain 3 tahun yang penuh cerita sendiri. Hujan airmata tangisan gembira.

Now, here I am. Try to get back to the old me. Yang menceceh kekadang duk bercerita meluah perasaan kat blog. Punyalah rindu nak menulis balik. 

Doakan ummi istiqamah nak mula menulis balik. Yosh!

MUDA ATAU TUA?

Sungguh laa...makin lama hidup, makin dihadap masalah/cabaran/dugaan, makin banyak pengalaman yang dikaut. Sama ada manis masam pahit pedas semua tergaul sama rata.

Cuma, cara untuk menghadapi sesuatu masalah/cabaran/dugaan tuh bergantung pada tahap kematangan otak/hati/jiwa nih.

Dan sungguh laa...aku masih berpinau, sama ada aku makin merah menua atau masih hijau muda dalam meneruskan langkah hidup.

Kadang akal tidak sempat bertindak kala hati terlebih perisa mengawal.
Kadang mulut lantang bersuara meninggalkan akal dan hati terluka.

Maka, telah menuakah aku, atau masihkah muda dalam mengemudi hidup?

Sedangkan jalan hidup terus kehadapan dan aku masih berkira-kira dimana aku.

Belajar daripada pengalaman.

Bersakit untuk capai masa depan.

Moga hari esok aku pantas menua dalam membuat perhitungan.

Bukan tenggelam dalam lautan perasaan.

ONE CALL AWAY

"...I'm only one call away
I'll be there to save a day
Superman got nothing on me
I'm only one call away..."

If and only if...
You are one call away.
I bet I'll always call you.
Just to hear your voice.
Just to get some strength and keep walking my path.
Just to have some courage and not to be scared.
Just to smile through the hardest part of the journeys.
Just to stay strong and pass the weak days behind.
Just to have some confident to live my life.

It seems that 'just' is too much aite?

...No matter where you go, know you are not alone...

RINDU

Andai berpeluang untuk jeritkan perasaan tuh, dah lama aku terjerit untuk sampaikan betapa aku rindu.

Andai berpeluang untuk luahkan perasaan itu walaupun untuk sekali, aku sanggup bersusah payah untuk luahkan betapa aku rindu.

Namun, peluang itu takkan mampu lagi untuk aku gapai.

Hanya perasaan terkilan yang berbaki.

Betapa kehilangan itu sungguh membuatkan aku rindu.

Rindu untuk menatap.

Rindu untuk mendengar.

Rindu untuk meluahkan.

Rindu untuk sebuah senyuman.

Aku rindu segalanya.

Betapa aku rindu.

Sungguh aku rindu.

Saat tak terkawal rasa rindu, hati bersedekah Al-Fatihah.

Minda mengingatkan hati kalau ini adalah perancangan terbaik dari-NYA.

Bersangka baik. Terus kuat. Kau tidak seorang.

Allah.

Sampaikan salam rindu aku.

Pada nya...

*1961-2015

*alfatihah

*tenanglah disana

WOULD YOU STILL LOVE ME THE SAME?

If I got locked away
And we lost it all today
Tell me honestly would you still love me the same?
If I showed you my flaws
If I couldn't be strong
Tell me honestly would you still love me the same?

Right about now
If I judge for life, man, would you stay by my side?
Or is you gonna say goodbye?
Can you tell me right now?
If I couldn't buy you the fancy things in life
Shawty, would it be alright
Come on show me that you down
Now tell me would you really ride for me
Baby tell me would you die for me
Would you spend your whole life with me
Would you be there to always hold me down
Tell me would you really cry for me
Baby don't lie to me
If I didn't have anything
I wanna know would you stick around

If I got locked away
And we lost it all today
Tell me honestly would you still love me the same?
If I showed you my flaws
If I couldn't be strong
Tell me honestly would you still love me the same?

Let's get it down
All I wanna is somebody who really don't need much
A girl that I know I can trust
To be there when money low
If I did not have nothing else to give but love
Would that even be enough
Gal, me need to know
Now tell me would you really ride for me
Baby tell me would you die for me
Would you spend your whole life with me
Would you be there to always hold me down
Tell me would you really cry for me
Baby don't lie to me
If I didn't have anything
I wanna know would you stick around

If I got locked away
And we lost it all today
Tell me honestly would you still love me the same?
If I showed you my flaws
If I couldn't be strong
Tell me honestly would you still love me the same?

Tell me tell me would you want me
Tell me tell me would you call me
If you knew I wasn't balling
Cause I need girl who's always by my side
Tell me tell me do you need me
Tell me tell me do you love me
Or is it just tryna play me
Cause I need a girl to hold me down for life

If I got locked away
And we lost it all today
Tell me honestly would you still love me the same?
If I showed you my flaws
If I couldn't be strong
Tell me honestly would you still love me the same?

If I got locked away
And we lost it all today
Tell me honestly would you still love me the same?
If I showed you my flaws
If I couldn't be strong
Tell me honestly would you still love me the same?

*reality*